My Game Over Is Coming Soon

Blogger's note: Today's blog is posted at both Innovating Common Knowledge and Finding Raymond Mar.

I'm running out of time. I'm running low on the number of chances. Resources and support dwindle. Permanent quitting time is near. I've exhausted everything I can think to earn my freedom. There are winners in life. There are losers in life. I belong to the losers. Nobody's fault. Blame life. I receive bad advice. Some knowledge are acquired incorrectly. I reverse setbacks as much as I can. I did my best. The narrative is I didn't do enough.

I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I think of my past self job training from today to 2015. Some may say my training was too good. Completing some training faster didn't guarantee a job. Time is no longer my friend. I'm not going to succeed.

No Longer Awesome Boring

I'm running out of ideas to keep my life fresh. There are more stale days lately. There are more rotten days recently. The present life is getting old. The general routine is unchanged for decades. I fear the present general routine becomes too comfortable I'm unable to adapt to better changes.

Reject The Alternate Life

Fortunately, the otaku life or the anime and video game life is forbidden. No fat man life. No eight hours of video games a day life. The lifestyle eating healthy and exercising is clear and present. I read books. I maintain the household. Self job training continues; although, what else can I learn which matches my strengths? My choices are few. I sleep well. I move forward.

Update On A Past Blog

I wrote an honest blog Permanent Unemployment on Jan 24, 2024. I spoke for some long-term unemployed people like me frustrated with the job hiring system. I mentioned AI replaces human jobs. Job training costs continue to increase which includes money and technology tools. Timing and luck are factors getting hired and getting rejected.

Top Mistakes The Final Part

Part 7 and the final Top Mistakes. I recap the six parts and the mistakes learned:

1. Always meet new people and make new friends. Always. I never met new people.
2. Never take life for granted. I took life for granted.
3. Follow a gym workout plan. My workouts were ineffective.

4. Read fiction books, any literature. I used to read non-fiction books such as business, investment, and self-help only.
5. Life is really not that bad. I criticized, complained, nagged, took my disappointments on others on my life.
6. Grow up. I was immature.

7. Trivia can be common knowledge. Trivia was too trivial for me.
8. Get out and do something, anything. I had no interest in new experiences, new adventures, and learning something new. Update: My new motto is "get up and do something, anything."
9. Food does make a difference in a person's life. Put effort, love, and sincerity cooking. Food was just food.

10. Never be afraid being wrong. Be assertive my abstract thinking, abstract mind. I was afraid communicating my thoughts being wrong.
11. Be a good guy. I was a nice guy.
12. There is no such thing as fate. I believed in fate, letting life came to me.

13a. Don't quit after making one mistake. I was discouraged easily.
13b. I learn from my mistakes. I was a person who never made mistakes. I didn't make mistakes because I was scared to try something new.
14. Quit when something is not working out. I was stubborn and arrogant to quit.
15. Never stop learning, even for children on vacation. It was fun, fun, fun during my childhood vacations. No job, no extra activities, very little parent involvement.

16. Trust my gut feeling and intuition. I didn't trust my gut feeling to save me from problems.
17. My humor strength is dry, slow, optimistic, and ha ha non-lol laughing. Never stop improving my humor side. I was serious all the time because I afraid to be funny.
18. Trust my face, trust my looks. I failed to realize people did recognize my unique face.

Here are the last three mistakes:

Mistake 19: I Was Quiet With A Group Of People

I was a quiet person from my childhood to early 30s. I talked when I was with people I knew well and family I saw many times. However, I was quiet at new places and with new people I saw for the first time. I was a bad conversationalist when I talked to new people. That explained why I had trouble making new friends in the past. That affected my confidence when I approached new people. That affected the way I lived. I lived with few friends in my life. Making new friends was rare.

The lesson I learned is know and practice good conversation skills. The skills are important to get to know other people, make connections, and socialize. Conversation skills are important in the professional world. We talk to our co-workers, management, customers, and competitors daily. If people want to get along with other people, then be a good conversationalist.

Mistake 20: I Could Do It Alone.

My second job after I graduated college I was a bad-ass, did it myself, mistake free, all-star worker. I handled everything myself. I didn't need help. I wanted nobody to "waste" time for me. I was an expert. I solved my own problems. I was a loner.

I realized being a loner was alienating others. I created a shield blocking others trying to help me, trying to correct my terrible work attitude, and correcting my bad behavior. My co-workers wanted to help me, wanted to show support and recognize I worked with a dumb-ass next to my work station. I was stubborn for refusing help and support. My co-workers were afraid to call me out and correct how I should work professionally.

The lesson I learned is support, knowing people, having connections, and networking with peers are important to be successful. I request help and support when I'm in trouble. I share my problems and voice my concerns to others. I have people backing me up during the worse times. People help each other. I help people. I should let people help me.

Mistake 21: I Was Immature For My Age

I was in my mid 30s and I had the wisdom of a 24 year old. I realized it was time to catch up what I missed throughout my life from the day I was born to today on Sat Oct 4, 2008. I feel smarter and wiser correcting my mistakes I made in my past. I'm gaining wisdom never to repeat again.

There is still more to learn, more wisdom to acquire, new experiences, new adventures, new people to meet, new activities to try, new food to eat, new hobbies to explore--just something, anything for my life. I'm not ready to die. I'm happy to say I'm doing a good job catching up to my current years in life.

Top Mistakes Part 6

I’m almost done. Top mistakes #16-18 are below.

Mistake 16: I Was Afraid Of My Gut Feeling

I was a person afraid of guessing throughout my teens and twenties. I was a fact thinking person. I either knew it or I did nothing. I didn’t think with my gut feeling. I didn’t attempt to solve problems or find a solution with my intuition. I was afraid to be wrong. I memorized facts throughout school and my past jobs. Memorizing facts can be good. Sometimes, I just don’t know it and I must do something at the moment.

The lesson I learned is trust my gut feeling. My intuition is above average. I realized some of my problems have been solved using my intuition. There were difficult moments I solved without thinking. I just do it and the problem was solved. Trust my intuition. Don’t think, just do it. I’m a person who, sometimes, doesn’t need training. I’m better off just doing it.

Mistake 17: This Was Not Funny

Most people have a sense of humor. Most people communicate their funny side in their own ways. My verbal humor is dry, slow, and positive. My ha, ha or laugh out loud humor is terrible—which can be good at the perfect moment. I admit my comedian funny skills don’t come natural compared to others. I never stop speaking my funny side even when I’m the worse among my circles of friends. I never stop even when I say stupid jokes. There is always improvement.

I want to be an example who communicates their funny side better in writing. I believe I’m funnier when I write my jokes; for instance, playing board games such as Balderdash. My sense of humor is better when I write in my blogs. Communicate your sense of humor in the best way whether it’s talking, writing, or even a video blog.

I can apply mistake #16 to mistake #17. I have been funny when I say something without thinking. I speak the words and sentences so funny everyone else laughs and I don’t realize what I said.

Mistake 18: Nobody Recognizes Me

I consider my handsome beauty average. I still have blackheads on my face. I considered my looks below average before 2009 because my smile was terrible and my face experienced acne. I wore braces from January 2007 to August 2009 to improve my smile and I took Accutane from February 2009 to February 2010 to significantly reduce my acne outbreaks.

I was a person nobody recognized me by my face. I looked at myself saying, “Who wants to be with me? Who wants to be with an ugly person?” People recognized my face for the wrong reasons: naive, unsocialable, and a person with no life.

The lesson I learned is trust my face and trust my looks. I have a distinct and unique face. People recognize my face when I walk around areas I frequently occupy. I received feedback my face is really distinct and unique. However, it’s more than people recognizing my face. I don’t look as handsome as Brad Pitt or George Clooney. My face portrays my personality, my confidence, my friendliness, and being a good guy. I want people to recognize my distinct and unique face and associate me as a person who’s easygoing, friendly, talkative, active, smiling, and a “there he is” person. I want to be a person who is a “you should meet this guy” man.

Always Innovating and Changing Innovating Common Knowledge

Top Mistakes Part 5

I share top mistakes #13-15 in my occasional top mistakes blog.

Mistake 13a: An Easy Quitter

I was discouraged easily when I get frustrated. I was angry at myself when I fail to understand something I’m learning for the first time. I felt dumb not learning the first time. I lost control of my temper. I quit without giving myself a second chance.

The lesson I learned is try again. I shouldn’t be discouraged easily. Sometimes we need more time to learn something new. The best of the best spent years being a professional. I shouldn’t expect instant expert level at everything I do immediately. Take my time and be patient.

Mistake 13b: I Never Made Mistakes

I was afraid to make mistakes. I believe that explains why I failed to learn the importance of making mistakes to learn. I was scared to try something new when I was younger. I had a boring childhood.

Mistake 13a and mistake 13b are complementary. I quit immediately, thereby not learning the lesson of learning from my mistakes. If I didn’t quit, then I learn from my mistakes and frustrations to understand what I’m doing wrong.

The lesson I learned is making mistakes is required to learn. We make mistakes because we’re human.

Mistake 14: Quit When It’s Not Going Well

I remember my mom taught me to never give up. Don’t quit because quitting means I failed. I misunderstood that lesson. Quitting is the best choice sometimes. It’s okay to quit when something is not going well; not necessarily quit because I didn’t try hard enough. I quit because I’m wasting my time.

The best example is I dropped Beginning Japanese in Spring 2009 at De Anza College. The instructor was terrible. I consulted with my friends who took Japanese. I told them how the instructor taught and her expectations. All of my friends said quit the class. It was the correct choice. Over 50% of the class dropped out on finals week.

On the other hand, I failed to drop Beginning Singing in Winter 2010. There was nothing wrong with the instructor and how she taught the class. The reason I should have quit was time. The class didn’t meet my expectations. I could have spent my time on productive non-school related activities such as reading books and going to the gym.

The lesson I learned is quit when the going gets too rough.

Mistake 15: Too Much Fun In The Summer

My summer vacations were fun and, sometimes, boring. I didn’t concentrate on my summer school classes. I watched too much television. I didn’t go to camp, didn’t do activities to make new friends, didn’t play sports, and didn’t read books. I did fun activities with my brother or by myself. My cousin or the neighborhood kid sometimes joined us. There was little parent involvement. My mom signed my siblings and I up for swimming and piano lessons. Out of many summer activities my mom could have involved us with, we hated those two lessons. My mom didn’t ask what we wanted.

My college summer vacations remained the same. I stayed home throughout most of my college summers having too much fun. I didn’t seek an internship. I didn’t seek part-time employment. Pitiful. I was lucky my senses woke me up to get a summer job on my last college summer. I found a job at Blockbuster. I continued working at Blockbuster throughout my final year.

The lesson I learned is have fun and learn during summer vacations.

Always Innovating and Changing Innovating Common Knowledge

Top Mistakes Part 4

I started an occasional blog sharing my top life mistakes. Here is a brief review from parts 1-3:

Mistake 1: I didn’t meet new people and make new friends continuously.
Mistake 2: I took life for granted.
Mistake 3: I didn’t follow a workout plan at the gym.
Mistake 4: I avoided reading fiction books.
Mistake 5: I complained and nag at everything in life.
Mistake 6: I acted like a child.
Mistake 7: Trivia is trivial in my life. Who cares.
Mistake 8: I didn’t want to expand my horizons in life.
Mistake 9: Food is food. Food doesn’t make a difference in life.

Here are the next mistakes I corrected:

Mistake 10a: I Stay Quiet Because I’m Wrong

I was afraid talking and communicating with people because I was afraid to be wrong throughout my childhood, high school, college, and part of my adult life. I was afraid to say something wrong because I didn’t want to be embarrassed, be laughed at, and I didn’t want others thinking I was an idiot. I believe that’s why most people thought I was a quiet person. I really wasn’t a quiet person. I like to talk to people. I’m actually a loud person—I must talk softer because I tend to be a loud talker. I didn’t talk to prevent saying something stupid.

The lesson I learned is have courage to make mistakes and say something wrong. How am I going to be correct if I don’t say something wrong and somebody corrects me or I ask questions? Nobody is going to say I’m stupid. We learn by doing and making mistakes.

Another benefit is I continue to improve my conversation and social skills. I’m catching up on these skills I should have mastered when I was in college.

Mistake10b: My Abstract Thinking Is Stupid

I believe my abstract thinking was the reason I was a quiet person throughout most of my life. I said something different and people said I’m wrong. Some of them didn’t want to listen to me and some of them were not convinced with what I said. I was afraid and nervous I didn’t speak clearly and I didn’t speak in a way for the listeners to understand.

The lesson I learned is speak up. Share what you’re thinking. Speak your opinions. Talk what you know. Communicate your moments. Don’t be afraid and nervous. Smile to show sincerity in your communication. Trust your abstract thinking and abstract mind. That’s why you majored in Economics.

Mistake 11: I’m A Nice Guy

Too polite. Apologizes too many times and even unnecessarily. Being passive when it comes to making choices. Letting the other person have his or her way. Sometimes not speaking up to avoid conflicts. Being boring. These are the top characteristics of a nice guy. I used to be that person. Not anymore.

The lesson I learned is be a good guy. Don’t be a nice guy. A good guy has courage. A good guy seeks new adventures, experience new experiences, attracts people or a there he is person, and learns from his mistakes. He sincerely apologizes. He likes action—his actions speak for himself. He speaks his mind. If the situation dedicates, he makes the choice as if he’s a leader. A good guy is dependable.

Mistake 12: My Life Is Set

I corrected this mistake before I realized I must grow up on Sat Oct 4, 2008. I believed in fate throughout my high school and college years. I believed my life was set. I was going to be this person doing this, being that, living here, and working there without question.

The lesson I learned is there is no such thing as fate. I believe my life is what I want to do, who I want to be with, where I want to be, and I choose how I accomplish all of these. I always question why I do all these. I make adjustments to correct my mistakes and to improve and to innovate my life. Life doesn’t choose my life. I choose what I do in my life.

Always Innovating and Changing Innovating Common Knowledge

Top Mistakes Part 3

I continue sharing my top mistakes I made in life. We become better people learning from our mistakes. Here are mistakes 7-9:

Mistake 7: Trivia Is Not Trivial

I avoided trivia because it was a waste of my time and brainpower. Who cares about trivia? I rather spend time studying while I was in school? It’s not going to help me get a college degree. It’s not going to help me get a job. I have better use for my time than read useless information and memorizing weird facts.

The lesson I learned is trivia can be good. Trivia can be used to start a conversation. Trivia, if used properly and discretely, can be funny and make people laugh. Trivia can bring people together. I have witnessed it.

I signed up to receive daily trivia on my Twitter at Trivia Cafe.

Mistake 8: Doing Nothing And Waiting For Something

I did nothing and waited for something to happen during most of my 20s. I say it with sadness, angry at myself, with regret, and forgiveness. I realized life doesn’t come to me on Sat Oct 4, 2008. Seek new adventures. Experience new experiences. Learn something new.

I created a personal motto: Get out and do something, anything. That’s the lesson I learned. It’s simple, clear, and straight to the point.

Mistake 9: Food Is Food. It’s All The Same.

My mom told me food is food. We ate the same food and cooked the same way 95% of the time. I enjoyed that food. We cooked easy and healthy. I thought we ate good tasting home meals. I got bored eating the same food as time went on. The taste became bland. There are better ways to cook healthy and tasty food. In short, my mom taught me to cook lazy, cook with minimal mess, and cook enough food so I don’t cook the next day or two.

The lesson I learned is put heart into my cooking. Put effort and sincerity in preparing food. Learn how to cook new dishes. And always improve my cooking skills.

Always Innovating and Changing Innovating Common Knowledge

Top Mistakes Part 2

I started to write the Top Mistakes blogs yesterday. There are many mistakes I learned throughout my life. Here are three more.

Mistake 4: Reading Non-Fiction Books Only

I started to read books consistently on 2002. The first book was Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. I followed reading business, leadership, self-help, and stock investment books. Some of the books were really good and worth my time reading. However, there was something missing.

I started to read fiction books on Oct. 2008. The first book was The Choice by Nicholas Sparks. I followed that book with The Road by Cormac McCarthy, and Forever by Judy Blume. I read classic books such as The Old Man And The Sea by Ernst Hemingway and To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I read 75% fiction and 25% non-fiction today.

The lesson I learned is read fiction books. I believe people learn more about life reading fiction than non-fiction.

Mistake 5: Complaining, Nagging, Taking It Out On Others

I remember working at Grubb & Ellis on Nov. and Dec. 1998. I complained, nagged, and criticize daily. I took out my life frustrations on other people. I was a guy you don’t want to be with on a Fri. night. I continued the unprofessional and negative attitude throughout my careers at Colliers International and Cisco. I believed my negative attitude affected my work productivity and my mental health. I believed work could have been less stressful if I relaxed and took a breath.

The lesson I learned is don’t criticize, condemn, and complain. They very rarely change the situation.

Mistake 6: An Immature Adult

I want to go straight to the lesson I learned on Oct. 4, 2008: grow up. Stop acting and behaving like a child. Don’t take life for granted. If I want a good life, I must earn it. I must be man with strength, courage, and honesty. Learn from my mistakes. Never stop innovating life.

Always Innovating and Changing Innovating Common Knowledge

Top Mistakes Part 1

I thought of the Top Mistakes blog on the first week of October. I wrote down a list of mistakes I corrected here and there thinking about the list in the back of my mind. Next, I choose the top ten mistakes. I changed the number of mistakes from ten to all. All of my mistakes were worthy to share. Finally, I chose to separate the Top Mistakes into separate blogs. Here is the first blog entry of my mistakes in no particular order:

Mistake 1: Living Life With Nobody

I lived life most of the time alone. I had few friends. My family has been the people I interact. I read and hear about successful people daily such as from the entertainment, sports, politics, and business worlds. One commonality is they succeeded with people. They didn’t reach their highest potential alone.

The lesson I learned is always meet new people and make new friends. Friends come and go in our lives. People come and go in our lives. Interacting and being with people influences who and what you are. We are humans. We must have people in our lives, at least for the bare minimum to live.

Mistake 2: Take Life For Granted

I took life for granted for 34 years. I lived life saying to myself, “Life treats me good. I deserve a good life because I’m me. I’m Raymond Mar. I’m good at everything and I must be treated with respect. Nothing bad ever happens in my life because I’m Raymond Mar. I’m an all-star.” That’s the wrong way to life my life.

The lesson I learned is never take life for granted. Earn it. Life doesn’t come to me in a silver platter. Live life. Learn from my mistakes and never repeat my mistakes. Don’t sit around and hope the good life comes to me. Take action to have a better life. Work smarter. Practice smarter.

Mistake 3: My Workout Schedule

My old workout was incorrect. I took my life for granted saying my workout was the best for a person who wanted to workout for good health. One mistake was I completed one set only for all my workouts.

I want to thank Punkbuster for introducing me to Bodybuilding.com. I downloaded beginning workout plans from their website on Sept. 2008. My workouts significantly improved; for example, I separate my weight lifting and cardio into separate days instead of doing both in one day. My cardio consists of treadmill and stationary bike.

The lesson I learned is workout is important in a person’s life. I must improve my workout consistently including new workout plans and eating as healthy as possible.

Always Innovating and Changing Innovating Common Knowledge