Sunday, April 26, 2009

What Did You Learn On Sunday April 19, 2009?

I learned to be honest with myself. I learned to trust myself and trust my gut feeling. Speak up and have courage to make mistakes including talking, conversing, and asking questions. And cheer up!!! Don't be a stuck up.

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Friday, April 24, 2009

What Is The Real Reason You Dropped Japanese I?

It's true the instructor went too fast. I say 20% of the class dropped out during the second week. And my friends advised me to drop out after they looked at the syllabus.

The absolute reason I dropped is no freedom. I want to learn JP on my pace and on my time. I choose when to study and what to learn for the day. I'm a slow learner; however, when I learn it, I master it. Learning Hiragana and Katakana in a few weeks is doable. Unfortunately, not for me. I learn my way.

Could The Lack Of Freedom Explain Why Your Jobs Were Boring?

Good question. My job and responsibilities at Grubb & Ellis, Colliers International, and Cisco were overall boring. I didn't have control over my career. I mastered the job in months. Cisco took almost a year. Thereafter, there was nothing more for me to do. I browsed the web and watched YouTube videos for days at Cisco, especially when new management started in my department. I had no work practically for weeks.

I had no freedom to venture out for additional responsibilities and learn new skills working at the three companies. Everyone knew I'm good and they wanted to keep their jobs and responsibilities. They didn't want me to do their jobs or at least help them out.

Was The Class Stimulating?

Well, there was student interaction where the instructor required all the students to ask questions and to answer in Japanese. Hmmm . . . my answer is no. I just couldn't get into the class. Likewise for my jobs. It's like I go to work and then . . . so what. What's next?

What Are You Going To Do For The Rest Of Spring'09?

I continue to take Strength Development and Social Dance I Part B. I learn Japanese on my own and at my pace continuing through the summer. I purchase additional learning material at Kinokuniya, a Japanese bookstore. I reviewed vocabulary and practiced learning A-O, KA-KU, and GA-GU hiragana yesterday. I must spell out the vocabulary in Romanji.

Are You Going To Take Beginning Japanese in Fall'09?

Of course.

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Thursday, April 23, 2009

What Is A Weakness You Have Known You Just Realized Again?

I'm behind in life. I'm behind in knowledge, skills, experience, everything in life for a 34 year old. I feel I'm running to catch up to the moving car containing my true life. I'm growing up meaning I have the wisdom of an 18 year old. I feel inferior most of the time when I converse and hang out with people. I feel they know what they're doing they say, act, behave, and do it with confidence whether they're right or wrong. I see no weaknesses.

Is That Why You're Depressed?

I guess.

What Do You Mean You Guess?

I'm in denial. Yeah, I'm depressed. I do everything I can to avoid depression. I'm proof everyone experience depression many times. The best people overcome depression as quickly and efficiency as possible.

Accutane Is Causing You To Be Depressed?

Nope. If the reason is accutane, then I don't admit my personal weakness. I have a reason being depressed.

What Are You Doing To Conquer And Defeat Your Weakness?

I continue living life by meeting new people and learning anything new. I know depression is temporary. I want to meet people with similar lifestyle and current life situation like me. I have bad luck. I have met nobody to expand my circle of friends.

Do You Blame Your Parents For The Lack-ness In Your Life?

I forgive them. If I assign a letter grade, I give them an incomplete. They never completed raising me and nurturing me. They earn an A grade if I'm confident, moved out, successful in my dreams and whatever I do today. They earn an F grade if they abuse, neglect, being losers, and lazy at home.

What Is Hindering You From Catching Up?

There are two. One is freedom. The second is meeting new people.

Freedom: I live at home. Enough said. Honestly, it's not bad. The recession and the high cost of living, living at home is acceptable. I accept anyone who lives at home with their folks.

On the other hand, living at home I'm limited in learning anything new such as cooking new dishes, my house has too much junk and clutter, and the mood in my house is gloomy. My friends are not invited to my house. I have limited flexibility to seek new adventures and experiences.

Meeting New People: My closest circle of friends rock. Without them, I'm a loner with too much time in his hands. Among my closest friends, I'm the one with the least amount of common interests, yet they welcome me. I'm grateful. I must be doing something correctly. Yeah, having a bigger and more circle of friends with similar living situations, interests, hobbies, and lifestyle helps me catch up in life and helps me grow up.

When Are You Going To Grow Up?

I have no timetable. Live life one day at a time. Be patient. My moments are coming.

The Key Is Confidence. Get Confident, Man.

Very good. So true. I think about it more and follow up.

Are You Thinking Too Much?

Yeah, it's a weakness. I follow up how to solve thinking too much.

Is All This Part Of Growing Up?


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Saturday, April 18, 2009

What Are You Feeling Now?

Blogger's Note: I'm posting the blog at Innovating Common Knowledge and Finding Raymond Mar. The difference is the title.

I feel lonely. Recently, I know other people who shared they're feeling lonely. Now I'm feeling lonely. Why do I feel lonely?

*Thur night after Japanese I felt overwhelmed with the upcoming homework assignments and quiz. The homework is going to take time and I'm sure I'm not going to comprehend the concepts. Thank you to my friends who gave me information how I approach completing the assignments and handling the class.

*I updated my Facebook (FB) status and I was polite to read the status updates except the quizzes and spam from my friends. 95% of the status updates are a waste of my time including the quizzes and spam. I stand by my belief FB is best used for posting your updates and telling your FB friends what you have been doing recently. Posting pictures is OK.

*I ate a bad lunch and felt weak throughout the afternoon.

*I ran errands after lunch. I got a haircut, and I got a different person. My regular was doing something on a laptop. Then I went to a surplus store to buy a new pair of boots for one of my anime costumes. The store didn't have my style. I visit the store again to find a substitute. After the store, I got gas. One person was asking people for money. I gave her $2. She seemed legitimate. Finally, I went to Nob Hill to buy milk and garlic salt. The supermarket sold out on the big garlic salt container. WTH!!!

*My family and I ate another lazy dinner. I'm sad. I feel family dinners must be prepared with care and effort.

*I was sad to hear a group of my friends organizing another get together had problems.

*I thought about what if I'm 40 years old and I still live at home in the back of my head. Shame. What if I still don't know what I'm going to do with my life? Legitimate concern. What if I don't meet new people and make new friends? Another legitimate concern.

*Sun Apr 19 is the Northern California Cherry Blossom Festival in San Francisco, CA. The last two cosplay events I felt lonely. I'm worry I'm going to be lonely even though I have friends coming with me.

Looking at the events Thur and Fri I really don't know why I'm feeling lonely. Maybe it's not the events rather it's just something in my body making me feel lonely. Can it be accutane? I doubt it. I watch myself regarding my loneliness continues next week.

Feeling lonely is normal even though a lonely person has family and friends. I repeat. Feeling lonely is normal, and I had experience loneliness before. The lonely feeling passes in time as long as we stay busy and stay active doing activities.

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Friday, April 17, 2009

Positives Fri Apr 10-Thur Apr 16, 2009

*Uploaded YouTube Video Nor Cal Xmas Gathering.

*Uploaded 98 songs to my mp3 player.

*My sister taught me the cha cha cha. Need more practice and more lessons on the dance.

*Started to watch Full Metal Alchemist 2. Full Metal Alchemist is my all time favorite anime series. I also started to watch K-On.

*Cooked tenderized and marinated steak on a pan. Yummy!

*Purchased dance shoes for my dance class.

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Friday, April 10, 2009

Positives Tue Apr 7-Thur Apr 9, 2009

*Purchased new shirts for the warm spring and hot summer days. I donate my old polos.

*Purchased Japanese dictionary 30% off at Borders instead of the bookstore $-)

*Tried new after shave moisturizer balm.

*Tried new calf press machine at my strength development class for the first time.

*Used the Iron Gym doing push ups and sit-ups. The dips are terrible.

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Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Positives Thur Mar 26-Apr 6, 2009

*Uploaded two videos to My YouTube Water Show #1 and Water Show #2 from the Bellagio casino from my Las Vegas Dec '06 vacation.

*Watched my sister won first place in a dance competition.

*Watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show movie.

*Ate a Giant Burger hamburger for the first time.

*Finished "Love Walked In" by Marisa De Los Santos.

*Uploaded my updated resume and cover letter to my job websites I have an account.

*De Anza opened a second class for Beginning Japanese. I signed up. Also, I switched my Strength Development class from Tue and Thur noon hour to Mon and Wed late afternoon.

*Learned the change step waltz and the tango walk dance.

*Cooked teriyaki chicken on the George Foreman grill. Needs improvement `__^

*Finished watching Toradora and Clannad: After Story anime series. Clannad is on my all time favorite anime series list.

*Listening to a business radio station 1220AM. Got it from my Dad.

*Hung out with Appu and gmontem. Ate dinner at Ocean Blue Sushi Club. Spiritsnare, we get you next time.

*Going back to school. It's not a big deal, yet. Taking strength development, social dance, and beginning Japanese at De Anza College. Times have changed. Students didn't have cell phones and laptops during my college days. Only a few had cell phones and they were bigger than a cordless phone. Today, I see students browsing the web, checking email, and chatting on their laptops. I see students talking and texting on cellphones.

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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Name Five Qualities That Make You . . .

. . . unique, make you attractive, make you proud of yourself. The five qualities are I learn from my mistakes, I have above average observation senses, I think about the other person's welfare, I explain anything I understand fully from point A to point B, and I'm growing up.

I Learn From My Mistakes

The biggest mistake I learned is never take anything and anyone for granted. Never ever. You must earn everything and everyone in life. Go with the flow, but never depend on the flow for your happiness. You must earn happiness.

I feel I have a second chance to make up for my mistakes. I'm unemployed and with the economy in a recession, today is the opportunity to go back to school and earn a second college degree.

I rarely make the same mistake twice. I make mistakes to learn better. I welcome failure to learn. The next quality helps me learn from my mistakes to avoid repeating.

I Have Above Average Observation Senses

Eyes, ears, hands, nose, and mouth. My five senses are above average. Keeping focus on learning from your mistakes is important. I focus to learn and ask follow up questions. I write solutions to my mistakes if I can. My sense of awareness is high. Anytime and anywhere I focus on what I'm doing, in the back of my mind my eyes are seeing, ears are hearing, hands are feeling, nose is smelling, and mouth is communicating (and tasting) anything and anyone within my surroundings. Perhaps, my keen senses enable me to listen to music while studying. My sense of awareness explains my third quality.

I Think About The Other Person's Welfare

It's just me. I think about other people when I'm with them. I rarely think about myself. It's natural for me to be a helpful guy, not a guy to be taken advantage. If something is wrong, I pause, think, and ask myself "Is everything OK?"

There are a few people I don't think about their welfare as much. The reason is I know them for a long time and I know they are strong enough to take care of themselves. Regardless, my senses are always focused on the few people and I ask, "What's going on? Is everything OK?" Then I act accordingly.

I Explain Anything I Understand Fully . . .

. . . from point A to point B. One of my pet peeves is wasting time. I remember the classes I took in high school and college the instructor was a poor teacher and explained the concepts poorly. Waste of time. When I self study, I forget about the unnecessary facts and details and summarize the concepts from point A to point B. There is no point C, point D, etc.

Getting to the point is one of my qualities for the successful final semesters in college and for the successful jobs I worked. The companies I worked required critical analytical and reasoning skills I mastered. I received complements from others for explaining and detailing the reports and procedures in my departments.

I'm Growing Up

Sat Oct 4, 2008 was the day I start becoming a man. No more naive Raymond Mar. It's time to grow up.

I consider myself lucky and fortunate I realized I must grow up. I know people and I see people older than me who are acting and being weird, immature, and/or a jackass. I bet there are successful people (rather so-called successful people) who are not grown up. I have not met any of these people and I know I'm going to meet them in the future.

Since Oct 4, 2008, I have done the little changes and innovations such as new clothes, trying new foods, and creating a Facebook account. I have done the minor changes such as buying a new bed, new gym workout, reading fiction, and a new PC. I'm going to do one major change that is going back to college. The second major change is finding a second college degree.

Other qualities that make me unique, attractive, and proud are I always find something to talk about in a conversation, I look younger than my age, and I never get lost. Hmmm, I must expand these three in another blog ;)

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