Tuesday, January 6, 2026

Good Way Depression And Bad Way Depression

Blogger's note 1: Today's blog is posted at both Innovating Common Knowledge and Finding Raymond Mar.

Blogger's note 2: Today's blog is edited minimally for grammar.

Christmas 2025 was a bad Christmas. No need for a detailed explanation. The one sentence explaining a bad 2025 Christmas was my family did a bad job being boring. Dec 25, 2025 changed my family's lives for better or for worse. Dec 25, 2025 initialized permanent changes. I write bullet points to share my thoughts and my feelings in no particular order.

*I played Portal 2 for the second time. I finished the video game in Sep 2025. I planned to play a second time. I choose to play the second time during the holiday.

*There was one lucky moment. The moment was small. I play Riichi or Japanese Mahjong on Riichi City. I paid $7.99 to support the video game paying for one out of four new characters guaranteed. The guaranteed new character was my first choice Toho Nagi.

*I read The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. I ate like the French during the German occupation in World War II. Food was distributed with ration cards. I ate poor meals after Christmas. No appetite.

*I cleaned the house.

*I watched the beginning scenes from the movies Saving Private Ryan and The Godfather Part I.

*Eat intelligently regardless of proper meals or improper meals. No appetite. Still eat intelligently. There were some days I ate meals like I had the stomach flu.

*I didn't want to cook for the household. There were no reasons to eat well. On the other hand, I admit I completed tasks I delayed months ago with the free time. No cooking was another protest to express my anger Christmas was bad.

Did everyone feel Christmas was bad? My answer is most of us felt Christmas was bad. Nobody verbally expressed it.

*I trusted nobody with my thoughts and my feelings. The family was weak. The family was not strong enough to handle me.

*The world didn't come to an end.

*The cure is stay busy. Stay busy relieves the depression pain. Be active relieves the depression symptoms. Motivation is the key. Motivation is more important than knowledge. Motivation > Knowledge. Hope the depression is cured like taking medication for the common cold.

*There is no reason to be a jerk. There is no excuse to be impolite. Bad behavior is intolerable.

*The feelings and the thoughts no wants and no desires to do something, anything are valid. The feelings and the thoughts must be temporarily.

*The Christmas holiday was effortlessly boredom. There are people who live good boring lives with effort.

*I silently protested how my family celebrated Christmas 2025.

*There is work every day. Work can be a positive distraction to a negative feeling. Work is not necessarily financial or earned income. Household cooking, cleaning, and organizing are examples of work with zero pay.

Personal intelligence is also work. Reading, learning new skills, and doing personal maintenance are work.

*No sex desire. I understood better how depression repress the human sex drive.

*Choose the cure. Choose the distraction. Choose wisely.

*The human being is like an engine. All parts must function well to live a good life. Any parts go down or weaken a negative chain reaction starts. Other parts of the engine compensate. More stress. Life is harder to live.

The engine must be maintained. Sleep is important to rest the engine. Sometimes the engine needs upgrades. A tragedy can disable the engine. Hopefully, the engine can be repaired.

*Backups can be available. Complements, supplements, and substitutions must be effective to keep the human living his or her best.

*I ate one good meal during the depression. It was like the late Steve Jobs while he attended Reed College who said, "I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple." The one good meal was at Panda Express. I ordered fried rice, broccoli beef, and string bean chicken.

Outdoors can be good. I was out of the house. I was out of the bad boredom household. I understood better from decades ago I read an article about multi families staying in a single residence due to low income. Each family spent private time at a fast food restaurant.

*Depression time should be temporary. Depression passes.

*Must eat good meals to live a good life.

*Permanent changes happen afterwards due to self-discovery. Be aware to correct the ongoing mistakes.

*I read my personal bible. Click Inspiration Cheer Up File to download the .pdf file. Continue to live life finding what you want to do. Jobs said, "Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

*I played my all-time favorite board game Puerto Rico solo. I played with four players being solo. I rolled dice to randomly determined the roles.

*I rearranged the PC and tech cables in the computer desk.

*I stored the Christmas tree on Sun Jan 4, 2026. I initially wanted to keep the tree displayed for months as a reminder for a bad Christmas. I changed my mind which was the correct choice. Out of sight, out of mind.

Update On A Past Blog

There were blogs I mentioned my personal bible I didn't include the link to download the Inspiration Cheer Up File. I posted the link again. The blogs were Top 50 Most Memorable Moments written on Sep 18, 2024, The Green Steno Notebook 8 written on Apr 22, 2023, Shelter In-Place COVID-19 Blog 1 written on Jun 2, 2020, Top 40 Most Memorable Moments written on Sep 27, 2016, My Spirituality Discovery written on Jan 11, 2015, and Exercise Your Body From Head To Toe Inside And Outside written on Jan 6, 2015.

Sunday, January 4, 2026

Positives Mon Dec 1, 2025-Sat Jan 3, 2026

*Played FreeCell card game on the computer for the first time.

*Watched Night Of The Living Dead (1968), Fist Of Legend, Take The Money And Run, and My Lucky Stars(1985). I also watched Godzilla vs. Megalon, Godzilla vs. Gigan, and Destroy All Monsters.

*Jogged wearing Hoka shoes for the first time. The Hoka was the Bondi 9.

*Updated my web page Innovate Infinitely.

*Finished reading The House On Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros and All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum as a reread.

*Ate O&H Danish Bakery Danish Kringle and Celebrations British version Mars brand candies for the first time.

*Riichi City. Lucky draw the character I desired Toho Nagi.

*Cleaned the house.

*I voted.

*Played Puerto Rico four players as a solo player. I used dice to determine which role to choose.

Monday, December 1, 2025

Positives Thur Nov 6-Sun Nov 30, 2025

*Replaced old steering wheel cover grip with a new cover grip EZ Stretch On Core made from Custom Accessories.

*Wore a compression arm sleeve and a bicep brace compression for the first time.

*Finished reading The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, Talking To Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell, and The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.

*Watched The Importance Of Being Earnest, The Substance, Capote, The Great Train Robbery (1978), A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum, and The Bodyguard From Beijing.

*Played Spider card game for the first time.

Thursday, November 6, 2025

Positives Mon Oct 6-Wed Nov 5, 2025

*Finished reading The Lessons Of History by Will and Ariel Durant and The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.

*Watched Yojimbo, Memories Of Murder, and Flow.

*Got the COVID-19 vaccine booster.

*Ate CJ Foods bibigo Chicken & Vegetable Steamed Dumplings for the first time.

*Cleaned the house.

*Flashlights first-aid kit, and smoke detectors checked.

*I voted.

*Visited Gamers Heaven Bay Area for the first time.

Wednesday, November 5, 2025

My Game Over Is Coming Soon

Blogger's note: Today's blog is posted at both Innovating Common Knowledge and Finding Raymond Mar.

I'm running out of time. I'm running low on the number of chances. Resources and support dwindle. Permanent quitting time is near. I've exhausted everything I can think to earn my freedom. There are winners in life. There are losers in life. I belong to the losers. Nobody's fault. Blame life. I receive bad advice. Some knowledge are acquired incorrectly. I reverse setbacks as much as I can. I did my best. The narrative is I didn't do enough.

I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I think of my past self job training from today to 2015. Some may say my training was too good. Completing some training faster didn't guarantee a job. Time is no longer my friend. I'm not going to succeed.

No Longer Awesome Boring

I'm running out of ideas to keep my life fresh. There are more stale days lately. There are more rotten days recently. The present life is getting old. The general routine is unchanged for decades. I fear the present general routine becomes too comfortable I'm unable to adapt to better changes.

Reject The Alternate Life

Fortunately, the otaku life or the anime and video game life is forbidden. No fat man life. No eight hours of video games a day life. The lifestyle eating healthy and exercising is clear and present. I read books. I maintain the household. Self job training continues; although, what else can I learn which matches my strengths? My choices are few. I sleep well. I move forward.

Update On A Past Blog

I wrote an honest blog Permanent Unemployment on Jan 24, 2024. I spoke for some long-term unemployed people like me frustrated with the job hiring system. I mentioned AI replaces human jobs. Job training costs continue to increase which includes money and technology tools. Timing and luck are factors getting hired and getting rejected.

Monday, October 13, 2025

I'm Tired Stepping Up Making Other People Feel Comfortable

Blogger's note: Today's blog is posted at both Innovating Common Knowledge and Finding Raymond Mar.

The title speaks for itself. Also, I'm tired of being at the short end of the stick too many times. If people want to make me happy, then do better yourselves. Unfortunately, many people lack motivation. It's okay to be angry. Angry is a valid feeling. Angry people don't act like jerks. There are boundaries.

Monday, October 6, 2025

Positives Wed Sep 3-Sun Oct 5, 2025

*Performed squats on a freestanding barbell with bumper plates.

*Finished playing Portal 2.

*Watched American Psycho (2000), Arrival, Stalker (1979), Mutiny On The Bounty (1962), The Seven Ups, and Incendies.

*Changed my car's motor oil.

*Finished reading American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins.