I'm Wasting Air

I'm a white collar worker living a blue collar life like the textile factory characters from the movie Norma Rae. The exception is self job training. I live a life with no reason. I live a life with no purpose. There is nobody to live for. I'm not working to make a manger look good. I'm a human being wasting another human being's breathable air. I'm unemployed. I live with my parents. I job search six days a week. I job train five days a week. I workout at the gym four days a week. I complete my daily house chores including cooking, laundry, and cleaning. I take care of my body on the outside shaving and showering. I grew out most of my friends-- natural separation. My circle of friends is tiny. I have a little fun on the weekends. There is no stress. I stay out of trouble. No money worries.

The Glue Keeping Me Together

Some people break living a similar life. I know there are people living a similar situation. What's keeping me together is being a good guy. Don't take out my frustrations on other people. Don't be a jerk. Be professional. Stay strong. Be brave. My quiet life is an understatement. I live a boring life. I fight my struggles. I continue living life finding what I want to do. Most days I trust gut, life, and karma I earn an opportunity to achieve freedom. There are a few days life tells me to forget it because I'm a loser. There are winners and losers in life. The reader must acknowledge it.

Positives Tue Jul 31-Tue Aug 14, 2018

*Finished reading M Is For (Data) Monkey by Ken Puls and Miguel Escobar satisfactory. I also finished reading Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer.

*Enrolled as a Basementeer at Sports Basement.

*Purchased Light My Fire Of Sweden FireSteel 2.0 and a Sea To Summit Lightweight Dry Sack. I also purchased an REI LTWT stuff stack at the REI Garage Sale shopping for the first time.

*Cleaned the house.

*Watched Blade, The War Of The Worlds (1953), and Big Trouble In Little China movies.

*Shaved with Nivea Cooling Shaving Gel for the first time.

*Updated my webpage Innovate Infinitely.

*Ate at Corner Bakery Cafe for the first time.

Positives Sat Jun 30-Mon Jul 30, 2018

*Drank a Roy Rogers for the first time.

*Ate at Dunken Donuts and East Ocean Seafood Restaurant for the first time.

*Finished reading Thief Of Time by Terry Pratchett, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, and A Hat Full Of Sky by Pratchett.

*Phone interviewed a Business Analyst III position in San Jose, CA.

*Replaced a faulty fuel cap for my car.

*For Mahjong Riichi players, I got my first Yakuman hand which was Ryusio.

There Is A Reason For Everything In My Life

I have been unemployed for 1,170 days as of Sun Jul 15, 2018. Everything happens for a reason. Life has an explanation for everything. Maybe there is a reason for the four digit days unemployed. I'm catching up what I missed in my past before I realized I must grow up on Sat Oct 4, 2008. I continue catching up. I correct mistakes. I gain strength. I acquire intelligence. I experience wisdom. I'm paying back being naive before Sat Oct 4, 2008. I took life for granted. Life shut all my doors for 1,170 days. Can life shut all my doors permanently? Yes. Some people died living unfortunate lives. Life is unfair. People die everyday. If I die tomorrow, then I die working hard to open doors.

Trust life. Life tells me when I'm ready. Life flows with me. Life shows me the path. Life opens the doors. There are future days I connect the dots backwards telling my there were reasons I lived my past doors closed. My future answers my past. Life tells me the answer in time. Time is the ultimate judge.

Positives Tue May 29-Fri Jun 29, 2018

*I voted.

*Made lemonade from scratch for the first time.

*Congratulations to the Golden State Warriors winning the 2018 NBA Finals.

*Ate Don Miguel mini tacos from Costco for the first time.

*Helped family friends paint inside their homes.

*Installed an LED light bulb in my bedroom for the first time.

*Finished reading Pyramids by Terry Pratchett and Practical SQL by Anthony DeBarros satisfactory.

*Watched History Of The World Part 1, Wayne's World, and Sicario.

*Cleaned bathroom, kitchen, entrance, and spot vacuumed downstairs.

*Visited the Japanese Garden in the City Of San Mateo for the first time.

Desperate For More Positives

I'm desperate for more positives. I'm desperate for new positives. I want to earn positives beyond movies, books, cleaning the house, and eating new foods for the first time. I want to earn new positives both quantitative and qualitative wise. My life currently sucks. My life is on pause. I'm experiencing more bad luck. I'm living a cursed life. My past years have been bad. I'm walking on the loser life line.

The paragraph above has some truth. I could be dumb. I could be weak. I could have chronic health problems. I could live a worse life. However, I count my blessings. I appreciate what I have. I make the best living in the present.

Have I thought about my fears? Yes. Have I thought about my fears being realized? Yes. My fears are living with my parents for the rest of my life, being unemployed, being lonely, not knowing what I'm going to do with my life and becoming a bad person. My fears are reality. My fears affect my life to the day I die. There are winners and losers. I'm with the losers.

Positives Tue May 8-Mon May 28, 2018

*Purchased an Anker flashlight for my car.

*Watched The Rainmaker (1997), Gridlock'd, Heavy Metal (1981), and Running Scared (1986) movies.

*Cleaned the house.

*Cooked pancakes for the first time. The pancakes are Kodiak I ate for the first time.