State Of Raymond Mar 2026

Blogger's note 1: Today's blog is posted at both Innovating Common Knowledge and Finding Raymond Mar.

Blogger's note 2: Today's blog is edited minimally for grammar.

Today's blog is a life status update. These updates are in no particular order.

The Negatives. I start 2026 with an upper left arm injury since Nov 2025. The injury is not shoulder related. The injury is muscle related. My research leads me to a left tricep muscle injury. I think it's a strain. More research needed. Treatments are rest, ice, and Diclofenac Sodium Topical gel. I tried Biofreeze. Advil didn't work after five days. Consulting a sports injury doctor is possible.

Another negative is no new job skills to learn. A friend suggested the open source machine learning PyTorch. My quick research tells me PyTorch is not a fit for my career. I need more research. I learned everything I could learn including PowerBI, HTML, SQL, Linux, and Power Pivot in the meantime. Python and Excel are reviews.

My car needs to be serviced by an automotive technician. An initial check is my car needs a new fan belt. I anticipate more problems for my 2005 Toyota Camry.

Another anticipation is the household eats more take out food. The household eats more processed foods. The household maintaining the daily meals quality declines. I must be more proactive unnecessarily through no fault of my own.

Grew Up On Sat Oct 4, 2008. I realized I must grow up on Sat Oct 4, 2008. The growing up changes I made paid off immediately; for example, new clothes, new mattress, new physical workout plans, and new Gaming PC. Similarly, the changes I made since Jan 1, 2026 also paid off immediately; although, they were smaller changes. I rearranged my desk, I used a longer USB cord to charge my phone, I coated the baking pan with butter to roast chicken to experiment, I played classic arcade games, and I played the Puerto Rico board game with four players as a solo player.

2009 Again? 2026 began with a partial 2009 feeling. Ignorant bliss. Less than too much free time today compared to 2009. Fewer friends, family, and acquaintances to support me today compared to 2009. More serious non-income generating work today. Less serious non-income generating work in 2009.

I bring back the beginner mentality. I need to find new life skills to learn. I tell myself, "I don't know what to do" multiple times. Be a beginner again intelligently. Be ignorant intelligently.

All previous personal projects were completed. Some personal projects are maintained by reviewing or by practicing. Maintenance is not new projects.

No anime, no ballroom dancing, no Accutane treatment, no vacations, no hiking, and no college classes. However, video games are significantly reduced. Counter Strike 2 is the next video game for which I play for the first time. Yes reading books, yes exercise, and yes cooking.

Money. Money resources are not a problem. I continue keeping my expenses in check. I spend intelligently. However, no budget restrictions like the Sat Oct 4, 2008 when I made changes growing up. Black Friday 2025 was like Black Friday 2008. Black Friday 2025 was goods upgraded or goods replaced.

My Foundation. I either improve my existing foundation or create a new foundation. I'm going nowhere. I'm regressing slowly. I'm losing the ability to live an awesome boring life.

The current life path destination is an unsuccessful life. There is failure at the end of the road. Blame life. Nobody wants to live a failed life. No rational person wants to live a George Costanza. There are successes; there must be failures.

I did everything correctly. I learn professional skills. I learn life skills. I ate heathy. I helped the family. I don't buy junk. No rewards. I'm an example of a person who did everything correctly and didn't get the desired results.

On the other hand, I speak up for myself. I share my thoughts and my feelings. I choose the timing. Be tactical. Speak intelligently.

No 2025 Momentum To 2026. 2026 is the first year since I don't know when the last time no momentum from the previous year. No carry over. No ideas, plans, and unfinished projects continuing from 2025 to 2026. My usual activities reading books, writing blogs, and exercising are excluded. Mahjong is excluded. The Counter Strike 2 next video game is excluded.

However, the Black Friday 2025 purchases a 14TB external hard drive and a new gaming PC mouse were upgrades which could have been purchased years ago.

I'm Out Of Bullets. The totality of my life is empty clips. Inside and outside the house. Inside and outside my body. There's nothing. The mini gun is dry. Reloading is possible. I don't know where to find ammunition.

Good Way Depression And Bad Way Depression

Blogger's note 1: Today's blog is posted at both Innovating Common Knowledge and Finding Raymond Mar.

Blogger's note 2: Today's blog is edited minimally for grammar.

Christmas 2025 was a bad Christmas. No need for a detailed explanation. The one sentence explaining a bad 2025 Christmas was my family did a bad job being boring. Dec 25, 2025 changed my family's lives for better or for worse. Dec 25, 2025 initialized permanent changes. I write bullet points to share my thoughts and my feelings in no particular order.

*I played Portal 2 for the second time. I finished the video game in Sep 2025. I planned to play a second time. I choose to play the second time during the holiday.

*There was one lucky moment. The moment was small. I play Riichi or Japanese Mahjong on Riichi City. I paid $7.99 to support the video game paying for one out of four new characters guaranteed. The guaranteed new character was my first choice Toho Nagi.

*I read The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. I ate like the French during the German occupation in World War II. Food was distributed with ration cards. I ate poor meals after Christmas. No appetite.

*I cleaned the house.

*I watched the beginning scenes from the movies Saving Private Ryan and The Godfather Part I.

*Eat intelligently regardless of proper meals or improper meals. No appetite. Still eat intelligently. There were some days I ate meals like I had the stomach flu.

*I didn't want to cook for the household. There were no reasons to eat well. On the other hand, I admit I completed tasks I delayed months ago with the free time. No cooking was another protest to express my anger Christmas was bad.

Did everyone feel Christmas was bad? My answer is most of us felt Christmas was bad. Nobody verbally expressed it.

*I trusted nobody with my thoughts and my feelings. The family was weak. The family was not strong enough to handle me.

*The world didn't come to an end.

*The cure is stay busy. Stay busy relieves the depression pain. Be active relieves the depression symptoms. Motivation is the key. Motivation is more important than knowledge. Motivation > Knowledge. Hope the depression is cured like taking medication for the common cold.

*There is no reason to be a jerk. There is no excuse to be impolite. Bad behavior is intolerable.

*The feelings and the thoughts no wants and no desires to do something, anything are valid. The feelings and the thoughts must be temporarily.

*The Christmas holiday was effortlessly boredom. There are people who live good boring lives with effort.

*I silently protested how my family celebrated Christmas 2025.

*There is work every day. Work can be a positive distraction to a negative feeling. Work is not necessarily financial or earned income. Household cooking, cleaning, and organizing are examples of work with zero pay.

Personal intelligence is also work. Reading, learning new skills, and doing personal maintenance are work.

*No sex desire. I understood better how depression repress the human sex drive.

*Choose the cure. Choose the distraction. Choose wisely.

*The human being is like an engine. All parts must function well to live a good life. Any parts go down or weaken a negative chain reaction starts. Other parts of the engine compensate. More stress. Life is harder to live.

The engine must be maintained. Sleep is important to rest the engine. Sometimes the engine needs upgrades. A tragedy can disable the engine. Hopefully, the engine can be repaired.

*Backups can be available. Complements, supplements, and substitutions must be effective to keep the human living his or her best.

*I ate one good meal during the depression. It was like the late Steve Jobs while he attended Reed College who said, "I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple." The one good meal was at Panda Express. I ordered fried rice, broccoli beef, and string bean chicken.

Outdoors can be good. I was out of the house. I was out of the bad boredom household. I understood better from decades ago I read an article about multi families staying in a single residence due to low income. Each family spent private time at a fast food restaurant.

*Depression time should be temporary. Depression passes.

*Must eat good meals to live a good life.

*Permanent changes happen afterwards due to self-discovery. Be aware to correct the ongoing mistakes.

*I read my personal bible. Click Inspiration Cheer Up File to download the .pdf file. Continue to live life finding what you want to do. Jobs said, "Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

*I played my all-time favorite board game Puerto Rico solo. I played with four players being solo. I rolled dice to randomly determined the roles.

*I rearranged the PC and tech cables in the computer desk.

*I stored the Christmas tree on Sun Jan 4, 2026. I initially wanted to keep the tree displayed for months as a reminder for a bad Christmas. I changed my mind which was the correct choice. Out of sight, out of mind.

Update On A Past Blog

There were blogs I mentioned my personal bible I didn't include the link to download the Inspiration Cheer Up File. I posted the link again. The blogs were Top 50 Most Memorable Moments written on Sep 18, 2024, The Green Steno Notebook 8 written on Apr 22, 2023, Shelter In-Place COVID-19 Blog 1 written on Jun 2, 2020, Top 40 Most Memorable Moments written on Sep 27, 2016, My Spirituality Discovery written on Jan 11, 2015, and Exercise Your Body From Head To Toe Inside And Outside written on Jan 6, 2015.

Positives Mon Dec 1, 2025-Sat Jan 3, 2026

*Played FreeCell card game on the computer for the first time.

*Watched Night Of The Living Dead (1968), Fist Of Legend, Take The Money And Run, and My Lucky Stars(1985). I also watched Godzilla vs. Megalon, Godzilla vs. Gigan, and Destroy All Monsters.

*Jogged wearing Hoka shoes for the first time. The Hoka was the Bondi 9.

*Updated my web page Innovate Infinitely.

*Finished reading The House On Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros and All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum as a reread.

*Ate O&H Danish Bakery Danish Kringle and Celebrations British version Mars brand candies for the first time.

*Riichi City. Lucky draw the character I desired Toho Nagi.

*Cleaned the house.

*I voted.

*Played Puerto Rico four players as a solo player. I used dice to determine which role to choose.