I'm not tired because of fatigued. I'm tired because I'm 41 years old still living at home with my parents. I have been tired since Jan 2013. I have little friends. I'm unemployed; although, I worked two contract jobs. My household is boring. I do the best I can to bring excitement in my home.
My life is stalled. My life is limited. I require strength to live each day with energy. I job search six days a week. I learn new job skills and refresh my existing job skills six days a week. I work out at the gym four days a week. I find time to write blogs, cook, read, watch a movie, watch or listen to sports . . . do something, anything to stay active. Boredom or inactivity is a soul killer.
I'm fucking tired. All five qualities are tired of the Raymond Mar human being: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial. In particular, I'm tired earning crappy wages financially speaking. I paid my dues. I did my time working my two contract jobs. The time is now I must rise up the career ladder. I refuse data entry positions. I have nothing to lose.
There's hope optimistically speaking. The hell I'm experiencing is temporarily. I'm going to find my heaven. I'm going to find a permanent job; however, I accept a contract position as long as it strengthens my resume. I'm going to live independently. I'm going to find new friends. I'm not giving up. If I give up, then I live with my parents lonely forever. I never give up. I play my Raymond Mar biggest break life card today.
Monday, August 17, 2015
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Positives Wed Jul 22-Sat Aug 8, 2015
*Phone interviewed for a Lease Administrative Analyst and an Outcomes Analyst position.
*Watched American Sniper, New In Town
*Backed Simon Best Workout Shirt on Kickstarter.
*Baked Oven French Fries for the first time.
*Attended an interview workshop.
*Applied Orajel Oral Gel on my mouth to treat sores.
*Cooked BBQ chicken with Kinder's BBQ sauce for the first time.
*Purchased Under Amour Low Cut socks.
*Red Egg & Ginger Party. I attended a traditional Chinese party celebrating my cousin's second child.
*Watched American Sniper, New In Town
*Backed Simon Best Workout Shirt on Kickstarter.
*Baked Oven French Fries for the first time.
*Attended an interview workshop.
*Applied Orajel Oral Gel on my mouth to treat sores.
*Cooked BBQ chicken with Kinder's BBQ sauce for the first time.
*Purchased Under Amour Low Cut socks.
*Red Egg & Ginger Party. I attended a traditional Chinese party celebrating my cousin's second child.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
What Did I Do Wrong?
Blogger's note: Today's blog is posted at both Innovating Common Knowledge and Finding Raymond Mar blog because I ask myself questions.
My job searching includes applying to jobs at LinkedIn. I looked at my LinkedIn connections on Fri Jul 31. Almost everyone is successful with a permanent full time job from mid-level to senior level. I congratulate their successes. I asked myself, "What did I do wrong?" I don't compare myself to others. It's one of my daily life rules. I'm breaking the rule self-interviewing myself what I did wrong.
I'm A Late Bloomer
It sucks I'm a late bloomer. I realized I must grow up on Sat Oct 4, 2008. I wished I grew up much earlier. I wished I wised up being a mature adult. I was an immature adult. I took life for granted. I was irresponsible. I was complacent. I felt entitled. My life was too much fun.
I lived with my parents after I graduated college. I have been living with my parents. I never experienced life living on my own. Why did I stay home? Financially speaking, I was saving up to buy a house when I started working. The housing prices continued going up. I didn't have a job during the financial real estate bubble. I never thought about moving out of the house to be a responsible independent adult.
Bad Career Choices
I thought I made good career choices. I worked in commercial real estate for 8.5 years. It was the first industry I worked after graduating college. My job was solid. The job security was high. I was an expert at my position.
I think back today. 8.5 years was too long. I should have worked in another industry when the economy improved after the dot com recession. The knowledge and skills I learned were insufficient when I started working in the technology industry in 2007.
Furthermore, I fell through the cracks. Several recruiters who looked at my resume believed I should have been promoted in commercial real estate or I should have sought new positions with challenges and growth. My weaknesses weren't the lack of job skills and knowledge. My weaknesses were lack of relevant experience and lack of advanced skills. I had the background and the attitude to move up the career ladder. Nobody gave me the ladder.
I didn't know the above. Lessons learned. I took my commercial real estate career for granted. I'm grateful I left commercial real estate despite working too long. The technology industry was a career wake up call.
Another bad career choice was learning the wrong skills. There was nothing wrong learning Visual Basic, XML, JavaScript, and Dreamweaver. I made two mistakes. The first mistake was these job skills were irrelevant to my career strengths. They were irrelevant to my current and future career paths.
I Need People
The second mistake was I learned these skills by myself. There was nobody to help me. There was nobody to provide feedback whether I'm learning correctly or incorrectly. If people provided me feedback, I learned these skills correctly.
I needed help. I needed support. I needed experts to answer my questions. I needed to expand my circle of friends. I needed networks. I needed people. I'm confident some of my connections on my LinkedIn received help which included learning new skills, networking, finding internal job openings, and expanding their circles of people.
Lessons I Did Wrong
*Late bloomer. Don't take life for granted. Be responsible. Earn your successes. Play time is over. My fun time is controlled. It's not my fault I grew up late. I need to write another blog to explain why growing up late was not my fault. Fortunately, I grew up. It's better than never.
*Bad career choices. Never settle on one job. Find the challenging jobs. Find the growth jobs. Find the jobs I'm required to learn new skills. Keep looking for a job I love. Learn new skills and refresh existing skills outside the workplace. Police, fire fighters, paramedic, educators, and military are required to learn new skills and refresh existing skills. The people playing professional sports practice their drills before their games. Every professional must follow their examples.
*Alone. Always meet new people. Always make new friends. Successful people know other people. Successful people don't succeed alone.
There Is A Light At The End Of The Tunnel
Successful people must go through hell. I never went through hell before. I'm going through hell now. The lessons I learn make me stronger. The mistakes I made are never repeated. The wisdom I acquire makes me smarter.
I'm one step closer to being independent. I'm one step closer to live a life making more choices. I'm one step closer to control more of my life. Be faithful. Be proactive. My independence is coming soon.
I'm not giving up. I continue looking. Never settle. This is it. If I give up, I sit in front of the TV eight hours a day letting life past by me. I take responsibility for all my actions. I'm going to find a good job. I'm going to create new circle of friends. I'm going to find new adventures and new experiences. I'm going to learn new job skills. I'm going to live independently. I'm going to find the woman of my dreams. I'm going to avoid hoarding. I'm going to stay in physical shape.
One of these days my LinkedIn profile is a respectable profile. More job skills. A stronger career timeline. More connections. My job title gives me respect. I begin attracting people.
My job searching includes applying to jobs at LinkedIn. I looked at my LinkedIn connections on Fri Jul 31. Almost everyone is successful with a permanent full time job from mid-level to senior level. I congratulate their successes. I asked myself, "What did I do wrong?" I don't compare myself to others. It's one of my daily life rules. I'm breaking the rule self-interviewing myself what I did wrong.
I'm A Late Bloomer
It sucks I'm a late bloomer. I realized I must grow up on Sat Oct 4, 2008. I wished I grew up much earlier. I wished I wised up being a mature adult. I was an immature adult. I took life for granted. I was irresponsible. I was complacent. I felt entitled. My life was too much fun.
I lived with my parents after I graduated college. I have been living with my parents. I never experienced life living on my own. Why did I stay home? Financially speaking, I was saving up to buy a house when I started working. The housing prices continued going up. I didn't have a job during the financial real estate bubble. I never thought about moving out of the house to be a responsible independent adult.
Bad Career Choices
I thought I made good career choices. I worked in commercial real estate for 8.5 years. It was the first industry I worked after graduating college. My job was solid. The job security was high. I was an expert at my position.
I think back today. 8.5 years was too long. I should have worked in another industry when the economy improved after the dot com recession. The knowledge and skills I learned were insufficient when I started working in the technology industry in 2007.
Furthermore, I fell through the cracks. Several recruiters who looked at my resume believed I should have been promoted in commercial real estate or I should have sought new positions with challenges and growth. My weaknesses weren't the lack of job skills and knowledge. My weaknesses were lack of relevant experience and lack of advanced skills. I had the background and the attitude to move up the career ladder. Nobody gave me the ladder.
I didn't know the above. Lessons learned. I took my commercial real estate career for granted. I'm grateful I left commercial real estate despite working too long. The technology industry was a career wake up call.
Another bad career choice was learning the wrong skills. There was nothing wrong learning Visual Basic, XML, JavaScript, and Dreamweaver. I made two mistakes. The first mistake was these job skills were irrelevant to my career strengths. They were irrelevant to my current and future career paths.
I Need People
The second mistake was I learned these skills by myself. There was nobody to help me. There was nobody to provide feedback whether I'm learning correctly or incorrectly. If people provided me feedback, I learned these skills correctly.
I needed help. I needed support. I needed experts to answer my questions. I needed to expand my circle of friends. I needed networks. I needed people. I'm confident some of my connections on my LinkedIn received help which included learning new skills, networking, finding internal job openings, and expanding their circles of people.
Lessons I Did Wrong
*Late bloomer. Don't take life for granted. Be responsible. Earn your successes. Play time is over. My fun time is controlled. It's not my fault I grew up late. I need to write another blog to explain why growing up late was not my fault. Fortunately, I grew up. It's better than never.
*Bad career choices. Never settle on one job. Find the challenging jobs. Find the growth jobs. Find the jobs I'm required to learn new skills. Keep looking for a job I love. Learn new skills and refresh existing skills outside the workplace. Police, fire fighters, paramedic, educators, and military are required to learn new skills and refresh existing skills. The people playing professional sports practice their drills before their games. Every professional must follow their examples.
*Alone. Always meet new people. Always make new friends. Successful people know other people. Successful people don't succeed alone.
There Is A Light At The End Of The Tunnel
Successful people must go through hell. I never went through hell before. I'm going through hell now. The lessons I learn make me stronger. The mistakes I made are never repeated. The wisdom I acquire makes me smarter.
I'm one step closer to being independent. I'm one step closer to live a life making more choices. I'm one step closer to control more of my life. Be faithful. Be proactive. My independence is coming soon.
I'm not giving up. I continue looking. Never settle. This is it. If I give up, I sit in front of the TV eight hours a day letting life past by me. I take responsibility for all my actions. I'm going to find a good job. I'm going to create new circle of friends. I'm going to find new adventures and new experiences. I'm going to learn new job skills. I'm going to live independently. I'm going to find the woman of my dreams. I'm going to avoid hoarding. I'm going to stay in physical shape.
One of these days my LinkedIn profile is a respectable profile. More job skills. A stronger career timeline. More connections. My job title gives me respect. I begin attracting people.
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