What Do You Lack In Your Life?

I lack experience. I lack skills. I lack stories. My life is bored in one way such as I need to do more outside the house and not bored in another way such as I always have something to do and it's not watching TV eight hours a day. If I compare my life with others, there are many who have exciting lives and there are those who have boring lives. I know lots of people with more exciting lives than me. I shouldn't compare myself with those with more exciting lives; however, knowing the people with excitement lives I tell myself I must be missing something and more.

Many family, friends, and acquaintances I know have more experiences, more skills, and are making progress in their lives. They are smarter from my perspective. I feel behind. I lack confidence because I don't question other people's thoughts and knowledge. Another reason I don't question is because I feel I'm wrong and they're correct. I lack experience and skills to question other people's thoughts and knowledge. If I don't know it, I accept it. I can't remember a moment I was in a serious discussion where I was proving my thoughts and opinions. I'm afraid of conflicts and heated arguments.

I'm fortunate my friends and family help me many times and bail me out in times I can't figure out or I have no idea what's going on. They give me sources to find the information for me to learn, to correct mistakes, and/or improve myself. I'm grateful ^__^ Sometimes I feel I want to return the favor quickly. I can't return the favor because I lack the experience and knowledge to return the favor at the high magnitude. I feel I have nothing to offer back, nothing equivalent to return the favors. If I return favors indirectly or accidentally, then I have no idea what I'm doing.

As for stories, I lack adventures and lack experiences to share with others. I hear many friends and family share moments in their lives I find awesome. I have no stories to compete with those who already said something in most incidents.

What are you dong to close the lack-ness in your life?

I started closing the lack-ness in my life on Sat Oct 4, 2008, the day I started growing up. I'm reading fiction books—I'm reading more fiction than non-fiction. I have an interest in classic jazz. I have a small collection of classic jazz. I realized how important holidays are and I appreciate holidays I spend with my family. Another interest I picked up is ballroom dancing. My sister is teaching me ballroom dancing. And I have a new PC for me and my family. The old family PC the USB ports were 1.1 =P

I'm taking classes at De Anza College for Spring Quarter 2009. I want to take a dance class and beginning Japanese. Unfortunately, I signed up for another dance class and a strength development class. If I get my first classes by adding on the first day, I drop my other dance class and strength development class.

Those are a great start to shrink the gap. Do you want to do more?

Absolutely yes! I want to indoor skydive. I know a place in the Bay Area. I want to climb an indoor wall again. I climbed a wall at my Washington Canada'08 vacation. I want to attend a jazz festival. I want to visit a waterfall. I found information there are waterfalls to hike in the Bay Area. I want to visit Point Reyes around San Francisco. I want to attend a classic rock concert.

What are the keys to close the lack-ness in your life?

Patience is the number one key. Another key is heightened senses including sight and listening—be observant and seek opportunities. And timing.

Are you going to close the lack-ness in your life completely?

Absolutely no! If I find everything in my life, then my life is perfect. Life is not perfect. The best I can do is close the lack-ness to the smallest as possible. My lack-ness is going to be near 100% closed. My senior citizen years can be retired and I see myself taking a foreign language class and reading mystery novels ;)

Do you blame your parents for your lack of knowledge, lack of skills, lack of experience . . . being behind in life?

I forgive them. I forgive them for the little nurturing, little "teach your children well," and little sharing their experiences, skills, and stories while I was a child. If I asked myself the question before Sat Oct 4, 2008, then my answer is yes. Bill Gates said it best: "If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from
them."

I'm growing up. The power of forgiveness is huge. One less conflict in my life. The past is the past. Today is the time to move on, take control my life learning and finding anything new, and focus on myself. I have a new desire.

Can we say closing the lack-ness in your life is a desire?

Absolutely yes we can! My desire in life is to close the lack-ness in my life. Experience new experiences. Learn new skills. Create new stores. Make new moments. I want more memories. And there are more desires I must find. I can say my desire to close the lack-ness is a goal with an open-ended date completion.


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