Monday, August 1, 2016

What Am I Feeling Today?

I'm tired. I'm tired being frustrated. I'm tired being second. I'm tired being this close to success at *fill in the blank*. I'm tired being just one away from *fill in the blank*. I'm tired being patient. I'm not tired failing; I'm tired being rejected.

Enough is enough. End the pattern today. End the pattern now.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Positives Wed Jul 6-Sat Jul 30, 2016

*Interviewed for a database coordinator job.

*Watched Mallrats, Reality Bites, Money Train, The Bourne Identity, and The Bourne Ultimatum.

*Ate at Kokyo Sushi Buffet and Korean Fusion BBQ restaurants for the first time.

*Completed Python course at Codecademy.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Positives Sun Jun 5-Tue Jul 5, 2016

*Finished reading The Linux Command Line by William Shotts, Jr. satisfactory and 1984 by George Orwell.

*Rearranged my room creating more free space. I discarded junk.

*Purchased a soap dish suction for the shower.

*Followed another beginning workout. It's my third workout plan.

*Ate Double Chocolate Milano for the first time.

*Watch repaired replacing a battery.

*Watched Dallas Buyers Club and We're The Millers.

*Played Mahjong (Riichi) outdoors for the first time.

*First aid training for CERT from the American Red Cross.

*Cleaned the house.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Random Self-Inspiration Optimism Statements

*Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish. Self-explanatory. Always get more of what you want--never settle. Have courage to make mistakes--intelligent mistakes.

*Still Young. I'm still young in life. I'm still a fresh person. I'm catching up what I missed when I was in my 20s. I'm catching up what I should have experienced when I was in my 20s. For instance, I drank wine and beer for the first time when I was 39 years old.

*I'm Not Starting Over. I continue moving forward finding time to catch up what I missed. I continue moving forward seeking new adventures and experiencing new experiences. I live the present moment today for a better future tomorrow. Both the present and the future complements each other.

*Single For Now. I believe the ultimate happiness is being in love. I'm looking for a woman who's still new in life. She's catching up like me. We have some uncertainly how to live. We are late bloomers. Sorry, no divorce women because I want someone marrying for the first time. (Ironically, my job searching almost all positions require experience.)

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Positives Sat May 14-Sat Jun 4, 2016

*Cleaned the house.

*Phone interviewed for a Business Analyst II contract position.

*Watched Breaking Away, St. Elmo's Fire, and Guardians Of The Galaxy movies.

*Purchased new backpacking and hiking equipment: Mountainsmith Carbonlite Pro trekking poles, Kelty Redcloud 90 (2016) backpack, Camlelbak Fourteener 24, REI Half Dome 2 tent and footprint, and a bigger hat size 8 inch Tilley Airflo.

*Ate Cape Cod potato chips for the first time.

*Applied Epionce Lytic Tx cream to my face.

*Redesigned my webpage

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Positives Mon Apr 11-Fri May 13, 2016

*Cleaned the house.

*Checked flashlights and smoke detector batteries, and first aid kit.

*Ate at Jersey Mike's Subs for the first time.

*Installed hooks in the shower for my bath sponge and back scrubber.

*Participated in a CERT neighborhood drill practice.

*Watched Million Dollar Arm, Fifty Shades Of Grey, Shutter Island, and The Mirror Has Two Faces movies.

*Completed CodeUpStart Python Flask building Punchstarter website course.

*Satisfied learning VBA Macros for Excel.

*Installed VirtualBox and Ubunta in my desktop.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Why Was April 2016 Sad?

It started on Fri Apr 15. Nothing went my way. I wasn't mad. I wasn't blaming others. I wasn't blaming myself. I was sad. Simply sad.

Share The Background For A Better Understanding

I have been unemployed since May 1, 2015. I have been job searching. There were four interviews. I lost count the number of phone interviews at 11. I have been learning new job skills and reviewing existing job skills. Some of the new job skills are Oracle, Tableau, and VBA Macros. Some of the existing job skills are Excel, SQL, and Salesforce. The last job interview was Nov 2015. I knew if I didn't get the job, the job search becomes harder. It has been harder each month with no employment which adds another month of unemployment on my resume.

I have been making sacrifices. I have almost no social life. I stopped hanging out with my closest friends. They were little help. I contributed almost nothing in our hangouts. The short answer is I grew out of them. We diverged in our interests, hobbies, and thoughts. I have new priorities. Maybe we meet up later in time. My limited social interactions are with three other friends we rarely hang out because they're busy with other priorities and a Mahjong (Riichi) group I meet once or twice a month.

My parents have been little help. They help me the easy way. I live in their house rent free as long as I contribute to the chores and cook meals. Ironically, many people like me consider my parents help easy and big. I admit living rent free is huge in Silicon Valley high cost of living. Moreover, my thinking goes deeper. My parents can help me find a job by communicating and networking with their friends. Unfortunately, my parents have no friends.

Every Fri Is A Sad Day

Yes. I wish I never reach Fri. Fri is the end of another work week without a job offer contract or full time. Fri is the end of another work week my hard work job searching and working on my job skills resulted in no interviews. Fri is the end of another work week I'm still at home. No independence. No spending time with friends. No spending time meeting new people and making new friends. No spending time experiencing new experiences. No spending time seeking new adventures. I'm lonely.

It's the waiting game at home for Sat and Sun. I want Mon now to continue job searching and learning new job skills. I spend either Sat or Sun job searching and learning new job skills

What Other Events Made Apr Sad?

My brother's family stayed over a week for their children's Spring Vacation. Nothing against my brother's family. They were a distraction. I went with them to a museum which was a distraction that worked a little bit.

No interviews. One phone interview. The position I phoned interview it seemed there was no hire. I saw the same position online two weeks later. It's a job frustration I experienced. I interviewed. Nobody was hired. Job opening went back on the market.

I experienced minor lower back pain during the last week of Apr. It resulted from lifting a heavy object incorrectly which was my fault. Lesson learned. Lift correctly or use a cart. Another lesson I learned was my treatment. I took Advil, applied ice, and applied Icy Hot. None worked. I should have rested on the day my back hurt. Thereafter, resume normal activities without going to the gym. I believe Advil, ice, Icy Hot, and lying down on my bed delayed my recovery. I stopped the treatment on Fri Apr 29. My back started to feel better on Sat Apr 30.

You're Not Alone

I know there are people in a similar situation as me. Similar age. Live at home. Lonely. Smart. Professional. Mature. Doing the best they can. Hoping for the best. No breaks. Bad luck. The people I know are not in my situation. That's why I'm lonely. Everyone else are working, going to school, or raising a family. They have reliable friends with commonality enjoying their company.

Apr Starts Future Apr Sad Months?

God, I hope not. Years ago Mar was a bad month for a good stretch of years. If I remember correctly, bad Mar months started in 2002. It stopped in 2009 or 2010.

Anything Happy Happened In Apr?

To repeat, the lessons learned during the last week of Apr regarding my minor lower back pain are remembered forever. Another happy moment was improving my Mahjong (Riichi) skills which included placing first in official games.

What Do You Want To Say To Yourself?

Don't give up. Move forward. I have nothing to lose. Keep learning. These are clique. These are to the point. Work hard intelligently. Hope for the best. One of these days good luck and favorable timing come to you.

There Are Four More Days To Fri

I'm not thinking about Fri. I'm thinking about the present day. Make the present day productive for my future independence. My future Fri happiness.

Do You Have Anything To Add?

For now, no. I said everything to the point. I was concise. I can self interview myself if I have more. Let's hope not. Let's hope the next self-interview is happy.